Find Your Calm

Relationships at some point, all present their individual challenges...would you agree?

Often times when we meet someone it is initially based on energy - compatible energies that attract and we naturally tend to see the 'good' in that person. As time goes on and we let down our natural defences, our true selves begin to emerge and it is usually here that we ourselves or our counterparts get triggered!

People who are easily triggered will typically have difficulty in their intimate relationships. What I mean by intimate, is the people who you really let in or spend most of your time with whether it is your parents, siblings, close friends, co-workers & partners.

The result of a trigger may be different for each person such as - one may resort to aggressive behaviour, anger/yelling or the opposite - a person may shut down and possibly isolate themselves. In any case, the behaviour is not healthy and will eventually affect your relationships.

Triggers are most likely caused from situations in your past, typically your childhood. They are a reminder of some form of trauma, which can be on different scales depending upon the person. As a child, we create an internal map of how we believe the world is and as we get older, these beliefs become deeply engrained unless we have changed our internal map along the way. An example would be if you were yelled at as a child and there was an association of being yelled at with fear, you may be triggered as an adult when you are close to someone who is yelling.

Triggers are activated areas of sensitivity that are brought on by stressors outside of yourself, but the triggers themselves are internal and are our sensitivities to the situation can be brought on by external events. We may be triggered by a topic of conversation, a tone of voice, someone's opposing perspective, rush hour traffic... the list goes on.

When we are continuously in the sympathetic nervous system of fight or flight, where we are living in a physiological state in which we are literally experiencing the triggers in our body and the symptoms of feeling heated, sweaty, a racing heart as if we are revving up OR we may begin to feel numb/paralyzed. It is as if we cannot move or speak and all we want to do is remove ourself from the situation and isolate. Again, it all depends upon past experiences, your history and who you are.

Our perceptions of the world vary greatly person to person so it is important we implement a 'perceptual filter' so we can recognize potential triggers in advance of the physical occurrence or we will continue to act from that unconscious place within.

Triggers do not simply manifest for no reason. There must be a negative history with a traumatic event or an experience from the past that is being 'awakened' in your nervous system. Something lingering in your unconscious self that still has you shackled to the pain of a negative occurrence.

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Recognizing your personal triggers can be a gift bestowed upon you for here there can be healing work, personal growth and self-discovery that allows your world to magically unfold.

Human nature will show us where we need self-care but if we are not willing to go deep, get raw, strip to the naked core of our being, then there will not be improvement, growth, healing and/or self-love.

My question is this...who doesn't want healthier relationships?

Learn to connect the psyche to the physiology through self-investment - your life is waiting!

Much Love, Tanya <3