How much thought do you give to your sexuality? Or do you not think about it at all?
Where I come from, it was a topic that was never discussed, in fact I don't recall having conversations with my mother, friends or anyone to be honest. I mean, an open discussion about puberty, dating, relationships or hookup details just weren't a part of my growing up so I was pretty much on my own!
I remember getting my first period and having no clue what to do and my mother told me to go find 'the box' in the bathroom - that was the extent of my talk and make no mistake - she had no idea how to navigate me because that's how she was raised by her mother, and we all know that behaviour is learned.
What happened to me as I continued to grow was that I wasn't properly informed about sexuality, the importance of sexuality and more-so the importance of my self-connection.
I always believed that everyone 'felt' their sexuality the way I did but I soon learned I was wrong and when I was younger I actually thought something was wrong with me. Not because I felt sexual about everything but because i simply 'felt'!
I felt the sunshine, the music, the love for my family and friends....an unexplainable connectedness to the world and as I grew older - a deep sexual connectedness to myself.
I've come to learn through growth that those who are embodied feel incredibly alive and can feel their external environment through their energetic sensitivity. This was me in a nutshell! I soon realized how deeply connected I was to myself, to my physical body, my mental body and my spiritual body - it was my 'A-HA' moment and a knowing that I was okay and there was absolutely nothing wrong with me, in fact, just the opposite!
I work with many women who feel they are 'blocked', 'dried up' or have simply lost sexual interest because they were told this is normal. I too can relate to this at a certain point in my relationship but I have also learned that this is a part of us that needs to be 'awakened' so that energy can flow as intended.
There must be energetic connectivity between two people, an alignment of sorts. Sustaining a healthy sexual relationship may not always be easy due to external stressors as I have learned all to well, but learning about ourselves and what changes we can make by unblocking what prevents us from feeling fully alive is crucial to feeling whole and also vital to creating loving and healthy intimate relationships.
Most of us are in heads - let's face it!!!
When it comes to sex, we are possibly thinking about our bodies, feel shame, guilt and all the other negative feelings that rob us from our personal experience.
Some of us grow apart from our partners and lose that energetic sexual connection to one another. Life can lead us in this direction ....sadly...BUT...once you recognize it you CAN get it back with some work if you're willing to be open and reconnect to one another on a deeper level.
As someone who speaks a little about Tantra during retreats and offers an introduction to couples, it's important to understand that your connection comes from your heart. Your heart has the ability to guide you and change every situation, including the connection to your sexuality.
Sexuality is the very reason we exist, it is the foundation of who we are, yet it's something that's often associated with shame and that in and of itself is wrong. We should love and accept ourselves for all that we are and feel empowered to 'own' our sexuality without feeling shy about it. It is one of the keys that will unlock the door to wholeness.
A topic I find utterly fascinating to be honest and one that has assisted me in accepting myself fully with all my perfectly perfect imperfections!
The most important message is that we are all true to ourselves and love ourselves enough to live in authentic energy!
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